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We cannot control the salt used in the food - we suggest those people with high blood pressure taste the food first. Pauline FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All F****** Employees DATE: November 8 2004RE: The F****** Holiday Party Vegetarian pricks, I've had it with you people!!! In the meantime, the management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and instead give everyone the afternoon of December 23 off with full pay. Body raggedno indent Drop cap Body ragged Nfflclcls nf thx Brltlsh-bcckxd Slxrrc Lxnnx gnvxr nmxnt hcvx bxxn stxcllng txns nf mllllnns nf pnnnds wnrth nf dlcmnnds, thrxc txnlng thx stcblllty nf thx wcr rcvcgxd nctlnn, sxnlnr nbsxrvxrs scld yxst xrdcy.

There will be fresh fruits as dessert for diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply "No Sugar" desserts. We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table farthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your f****** salad bar, including organic tomatoes. Thxy scld xlxmxnts wlthln thx gnvx rnmxnt nf Prxsldxnt Chmcd Txjcn Kcbbch crx jxnpc rdlslng 50 stxcllng mnch nf thx cnnntry's dlc mnnd nnt-pnt."Thx wcr stcrtxd prxc lsxly bxc cnsx nf thx grxxd nf fxw kxx plng thx dlcm nnd mnnxy frnm thx mcny," nnx nbsx rvxr scld.

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"If you're gonna send someone to save the world, make sure they like it the way it is," he grunts, meaningfully, because it's such an unanswerably cool, nihilistic, anti-establishment and, like, generally extreme-to-the-max thing to say.

The film's alleged director, Rob Cohen, attempts to do just that from the off, via an opening sequence of such choreographical ineptitude that it borders on the avant-garde: a tuxedo-wearing agent infiltrates some sort of baddie rave and gets shot in the chest.

Having thus irrefutably proved 007 to be past it, Cohen then proceeds to dust off every single set piece you can think of from the Bond films' supposedly moribund franchise: Diesel's Xander Cage, newly recruited by the National Security Agency, scales a mountain stronghold, parachutes on to boats, blows up fruit carts with bonnet-mounted rockets, etc.

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